Episode 8, "Sorry, Milord"
Campaign Date: Year of the Falcon, Vivig 3 through Ublez 11
GM: Dave "Dr. Skull" Nelson
Characters:
Conrad, Hyperborean, Soldier, level 4 (Joe Fryer)
Templar Grimjob, Shemite, Soldier/Scholar, level 4/1 (Andrew Smith)
Grodd, Cimmerian, Barbarian, level 4 (Bob LaForge)
Vegeta, Southern Islander, Barbarian, level 5 (Marlon Kirton)

Prologue:
Lord Valanus’ beloved Vivenne was abducted by foul kidnappers and he himself was stabbed with a poisoned dagger. Unable to hunt down the kidnappers himself, due to the pain of his wound, and likewise unable to deliver the ransom raised by Vivienne’s father, Count Dirka, Valanus summoned all his adventurer friends to help him. Vegeta, Grodd and Conrad arrived first and agreed to take the ransom to the rendezvous. Grimjob, cloistered in the Shemitish desert was late to arrive. Apparently, Valanus did not send word to Turpin or Limberger (I wonder why). Vegeta, Grodd and Conrad hired some guides to take them to the Plateau of Skulls in the mountains on the Aquilonian/Nemedian border, where the ransom was to be delivered.

Log:
Day 1—Border Mountains
Grodd, Conrad and Vegeta awoke, dimly remembering a savage beating by huge smelly monkeys. Indeed, all three of them were tied up and they were surrounded by 4 huge mountain Ape-men. Their shepherd guides were standing nearby laughing at them, packing the ransom onto mules. One of the guides, a woman, stripped off her shepherd disguise in front of them, washed herself off, taunting them. The “guides” then departed with a final “have fun with the monkeys” and they were gone. The first Ape-ma hurled Vegeta off of a nearby cliff, and the other 3 began to savagely kick Conrad and Grodd. Both men, however, burst their ropes and grabbed their weapons. Grodd slew two of the Ape-men before both he and Conrad were beaten to the ground and also hurled off of the cliff.

Day 2-4 Sheeptown
Luckily all three men fell onto a ledge not far down the Plateau of Skulls chasm. They were found by some passing shepherds from the hamlet of Sheeptown, who luckily heard Conrad’s groans. The shepherds took them home and nursed them back to health.

Day 5 Sheeptown
Templar Grimjob, riding hard from the desert arrived in Sheeptown to find his friends alive, but without the ransom. They discover from the shepherds that the woman who betrayed them was probably the bandit leader Areisto, who leads a strong bandit force with her lover Thespus (a Gunderman renegade) in the mountains.

Day 6 Plateau of Skulls
They all traveled back to the Plateau of Skulls hoping to catch the trail of the treacherous thieves, or the two remaining ape-men, or at least find the weaponry they had left on the field. They did find their weapons, but the other trails had gone cold.

Day 7 Sheeptown
They all travel back to Sheeptown.

Day 8 Castle Fontain
Grimjob, Conrad, Vegeta and Grodd ride down to Castle Fontain, the Aquilonian border-fort on the Road of Kings, to see if they can get any word about the bandits. Grimjob talks to a merchant, Akhbar of Nippr who is of little help, being a stranger. Grodd talks to a shifty caravan guard named Zorgo who suggests that they go to the “Old Grimy” Inn in Vorburg, or the “Wanderer’s Rest” in Melion to find out information on bandits.

Day 9 Vorburg
The party rides to the Aquilonian town of Vorburg and case out “The Old Grimy Inn.” Grimjob is chosen to go in and ask around, since the bandits have never scene him. Grimjob has a few choice words with a certain “Mr. Stick” who “doesn’t like his kind.” But then has some profitable words with a hunchback at the bar. Grimjob discovers that Areisto and Thespus have some sort of fort in the mountains, on the Nemedian side, about 40-60 miles north of the Road of Kings. He then lures the hunchback outside, where the rest of the party beats and kills him. Vegeta, Conrad and Grodd, for no good reason, then burst into the “Old Grimy” and proceed to kill various rat-catchers, bar maids and cripples. 3 pirates put up a resistance however, and one hurts Conrad very, very badly, slipping a sword through his visor slit. All the pirates are then killed, but the barman and a crippled beggar escape through the basement.

Day 10-11 Sheeptown
The party flees from Vorburg, rides to Sheeptown and spends a day recovering from wounds.

Day 12 Mountains
The party marches up into the mountains. At night, Vegeta is savagely mauled by a giant spider.

Day 13-22 Mountains
The party wanders around searching the mountains for the bandit fort.

Day 23 Mountains
Grodd and Conrad encounter a patrol of 10 Aquilonian borderers. They massacre 7 of them, for no reason, and the other 3 escape.

Day 24-27 Mountains
While Conrad and Grimjob continue searching for the fort, Vegeta and Grodd hunt to bolster the food supply.

Day 28 Castle Thauron
Growing frustrated, they ride down to the Nemedian castle Thauron.

Day 29 Melion
They go eastward to the Nemedian town of Melion where Grimjob finds some information to help find the fort from a scout named Bowlegged Bill.

Day 30-32 Mountains
They return to the mountains and continue the search.

Day 33 Fort
They find the bandit fort but decide to wait until there’s bad weather to attack.

Day 34 Mountains
Wait in the cold

Day 35-37 Mountains
The party’s water supply goes bad and they spend a couple days puking their guts out.

Day 38 The Fort
At night Conrad, Vegeta, Grimjob and Grodd finally attack the fort. Conrad’s clanking gives them away. Thespus leads his Gundermen out of the fort and proceeds to inflict a righteous ass-beating on our heroes, so that Grodd and Conrad take flight. But, Areisto attempted to slip out of the back of fort, only to be waylaid and captured by forces unknown. Thinking that the player’s allies have captured Areisto, Thespus calls for a truce to discuss terms. When he realizes that she has been taken by “The Bones of Gorlak” he offers a deal. Since his men won’t go near the lost temple of Gorlak, Thespus needs help to rescue Areisto. Since the players do not know where Gorlak is, they need Thespus to guide them. He offers to team up, under pressure he give back 1 bag of the ransom gold, but his men will allow him to give up no more. Vegeta is loath to agree, but the others force him to. That night, Grodd kills Thespus in his sleep. Grodd, Vegeta and Conrad split the bag of gold, leaving Grimjob to go back and explain to Valanus how they lost the ransom, and failed to save Vivienne from being sacrificed the dark gods of Gorlak.